The Lighter Side of Spam

For a while now I've been tuning a spam detector written in Java. The test platform version just churns through every piece of mail that ever hit the system. Naturally, after changing parameters I have to run the program again to see that no one's mail will be discarded as spam. Because there is no definitive test that will determine a message to be spam I must plod through the probable spam checking for real mail.

The server is also picking up and testing sites in the Received headers to find servers that are open to relay.  You can find the current list here.

Now and them I trip across bloopers and strangeness.

• Some foreign spam:

  1) The best way to know Singapore.
    Do you wanna select Singapore as your ideal city to spend your
  holiday? Do you wanna know more about this beautiful country before
  visit? Visit Singapore-Online.Net, the No.1 web site to know
  Singapore.
  ...
  Online games give you a hard-won chance to win Free Computer, Free Trip.
  ...
    We feel sorry if you do not like to receive this e-mail.  If you
  don't want to receive this mail again, please write a email to
  steven@singapore-online.net with the subject "REMOVE". Thank you.
  

• Misdirected email to my system. However, they've divined that their best audience are the Seekers at AOL. Remember, there's a Seeker born every minute!

  Congratulations, AOL Member!!
  
  You have been selected from the AOL Membership Directory ...
  

• If you ARE looking for an income opportunity, then...
  
  WELCOME TO THE HOTTEST CASH GENERATING PROGRAM ON THE INTERNET!
  

  I'm holding out for Bill Gates offering his 3 secrets of success for making billions.

• Mother Goose move over:
  If so, Granny Pat's Bible Stories are just what you are looking for.
  
• Property Opportunity in Bangladesh. Not to be missed! (submitted by psg)
  
• Bulk Rant!
  
• Another fine bulk Rant!
  
• Always do a test run first:
  From: brendakaywhite@juno.com
  Reply-To: toni9914@juno.com
  Subject:
  
  Dear $Name,
  
• Strange Header:

  Message-ID: <the.companies.listed.in.these.headers.are.not.associated.with.this.company.in.any.way>

• Subject: Subliminally Seduce Women Instantly !
  Message-Id: <19971230428AAA44782@post.kyunghee.ac.kr>
  
  Testing...
  

  Well, were you seduced? Great programmer pickup line!

• From: dingerso@netcom.com
  To: dingerso@netcom.com
  Comments: Authenticated sender is 
  Reply-to: dingerso@netcom.com
  
  Dwight,
   You can stop the war by saying your sorry.
   You can stop the war by saying your sorry.
   You can stop the war by saying your sorry.
   You can stop the war by saying your sorry.
   You can stop the war by saying your sorry.
   You can stop the war by saying your sorry.
   ...
  

• Too cheap to be scammed?
  
• Never mind his shortcomings, pay his tuition!
  
• Try not to use your bulk mailer to keep up with your friends.
  
• Self Promotion with her new spam toy.
  
• Does a Chinese university really care about Yankee gun attitudes, or the $1.99? And just how Chinese are they?
  
• A classic chain letter with a new twist: AOL is now beta testing mail instead of Intel, but Intel's still involved! Never mind that companies don't file class action suits against each other and the author claims to "know the law". That's alright, some who got the mail couldn't read (huh?), so Vikki sent it again.
  

• Message-ID: <md5:434A9A6FD1A6C22A614342F51A34DCC9>
  Received: from mail.taholah.wednet.edu mail.taholah.wednet.edu by theorem.com;  Jan 15, 2001 13:23:49 EST
  Received: from Vamirage by mail.taholah.wednet.edu (AppleShare IP Mail Server 6.1) id 59282 via TCP with SMTP; Mon, 15 Jan 2001 08:47:06 -0700
  From: "ESoftFinder" <tyra0004@yahoo.com>
  To: "Members"
  MIME-Version: 1.0
  Priority: normal
  X-mailer: Pegasus Mail for Win32 (v2.52)
  Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 10:30:23 -0400
  
  "Have you ever ask yourself: where have gone all my megabytes?" 
  If you answer yes to this question then SizeExplorer is the tool for you.
  

• Click here $First_Name!
  
• An attempt to get at your bank account.
  
• Perhaps another.
  
• Another attempt to get at your bank account. (yahoo version).
  
• Yet another!
  
• Another approach to get visitors - help them find their bugs.   A second frantic post, with worse spelling.
  
• Confused spam.  It ain't no RFC 822 message, but it doesn't contain any double negatives.

  From help@training
  Subject usampledesktopdesktopdesktopsampledesktopsamplesampledesktopsamplesampledesktopsamplesamplesampledesktopdesktopdesktopsampledesktopdesktopdesktopsampledesktopdesktopdesktopdesktopsamplesamplesampledesktopsampledesktopdesktopdesktopdesktopdesktopdesktopdesktheorem.cooldog.com.desktop 
  MIME-Version 1.0
  Content-Type multipart/related;
  type="multipart/alternative";
  	boundary="====_ABC1234567890DEF_===="
  X-Priority 3
  X-MSMail-Priority Normal
  X-Unsent 1

• Repetitive buzz you.